EJ, our newborn, just visited his cardiologist for a cardiac evaluation. After a month from his birth, we found out that his weight gain is slow compared to other infants his age. The doctors call it "failure to thrive. " We are searching for the reason for his poor weight gain. Our pediatrician considered having him undergo the cardiac evaluation procedure because heart disease can cause a child to use more calories than a normal child does. While waiting in the hospital, I brought a book with me so I wouldn't be bored. I found a verse in the book I was reading that continually reminded me to stay calm.
Knowing about our baby's condition wasn't easy for me. I felt guilty learning about it at first because I was nursing him. Some people told me my milk might not be enough or that I might not be feeding him at the proper intervals. I considered stopping breastfeeding because of this. I reviewed how to breastfeed again, even though he is our fourth child and I have successfully breastfed all of my children. It's such a good thing that the internet can provide a lot of information. Reading through blogs and websites about breastfeeding assured me that I was doing the right thing. In fact, our pediatrician encouraged me not to stop breastfeeding, as it is the best milk I can give to our newborn.
Seeing babies his age makes me happy. We have three more babies in the church who are a few weeks older than him. I notice how quickly they grow in weight - they already have chubby faces. You can't resist pinching their soft cheeks. I will admit that I feel envy when comparing our son to them. I entertain the idea of supplementing EJ with formula after each breastfeeding session. After two weeks, we checked his weight gain, but he still didn't meet expectations; there was no difference compared to when he was exclusively breastfed. So, I decided to stop giving him formula milk and continued with exclusive breastfeeding. This is the reason we are now undergoing a cardiac evaluation to investigate underlying issues further.
During the past few days, even though we were still unsure of what was happening with our son, my husband and I found peace in knowing that God would not leave us in this situation. However, this does not mean that we will no longer comply with the necessary medical requirements.
While in the hospital waiting for our appointment to see a cardiologist, I met my chemistry professor from college; it was really nice talking to her. After that, I started reading the book I had brought along and found the verse posted above to remind me not to worry about what's going to happen. More patients arrived, waiting for their turn. I began talking to them whenever they sat beside me. I asked them about their children's conditions and why they needed to visit a cardiologist. Whenever I learned that an infant was the same age as EJ, I would immediately ask about their weight, then their birth weight, and make a comparison. Deep down, I feel like I am some sort of investigator with other patients - funny me. I don't know if they felt I was some sort of detective to them. Having conversations with them gave me a greater understanding of what it is to be a parent to a child with heart disease.
After the visit, of course, we had the result of his cardiac evaluation, which is normal. A good news to celebrate. However, this wouldn't mark the end. We needed to consider further evaluations to address EJ's poor weight gain. We may still not know the probable cause, but I am thankful for the promise God gave me. With this verse, I know God will lead us to the right diagnosis - I believe He already has the cure. This was not our family's first time facing tough situations like this. It feels like walking on a cloudy and slippery path with cliffs on both sides, sometimes causing us to question why. God only wants us to take that first step of faith because His hand of protection is there to guide us through.
(I do not own this photo)
Since Monday, I have also decided to follow a gluten-free diet. I remember my mother-in-law had a wheat allergy, and my husband confirmed it to me. Starting this diet has been a huge sacrifice. I needed to exercise a lot of self-control because we have a bakeshop that uses only wheat. Bread was part of my regular diet before, and I will always see it around. I keep reminding myself not to eat it and try my very best to consume gluten-free foods. We'll see how EJ improves on this diet since he depends on me for his nourishment. I will now start searching for gluten-free foods and might as well research gluten-free recipes to try. I just wish the Philippines had regulations like those in other countries regarding food packaging, as they offer a wide variety of gluten-free products that make it easier for those who choose to follow a gluten-free diet.
Please include us in your prayers, especially regarding our newborn's condition. I know he will gain weight now, and I am claiming it. I have a peace in my heart that I can't quite explain. I will continue to trust God and His ways.
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